Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well I just put wine in my tea
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
