why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
