i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
