ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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