white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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