Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
send nudes
from the living room?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
