when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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