tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
