I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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