He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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