these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
