I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
