Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
