This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
