Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
