Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
