My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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