you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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