he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
