Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
