He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
