It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
