do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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