i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
