I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
