Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
