love makes seman taste better
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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