theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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