is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We are two peas in an std pod
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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