If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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