He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
