I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
