Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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