Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
foreskin is a definite game changer
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
