i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's shark week go big or go home
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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