You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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