i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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