i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
