I looked at my own cervix.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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