i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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