I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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