am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
