Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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