do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i already hear my dad disowning me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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