well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
