69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
