You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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