just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
