He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
