You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
